5 Lessons I Learned When My Dad Was in the ICU

The past month was undoubtedly a roller coaster ride full of challenges and emotional distress for me and my family. My dad was rushed to the hospital with a critical condition, and after a week, his condition worsened. We decided to transfer to another facility since we could no longer afford the bills. We spent another week at a government hospital and tried to remain resilient and optimistic throughout this ordeal.

However, the Lord had other plans. My dad joined the Creator on September 4, 2023.

My dad’s passing taught me many valuable lessons about life, love and loss. Here are 5 things I learned that I hope will help others who are going through a similar situation.

Lesson 1: Life is short and anything can happen.

Life is unpredictable and we never know when our time will come. This is why it is important to live each day to the fullest and to make the most of every opportunity.

We are humans; we don’t live forever and are not born with superpowers and invincible bodies. The ordeal we went through is a reminder that we should make the most of every day and cherish the people we love.

Although there are bills to pay and responsibilities to uphold, don’t let these things bind you to a limited mindset. It’s important to create balance in your life, practice gratitude and maintain healthy habits.

Always find time to spend with family and friends and enjoy moments together. Invest in experiences so you can have tons of memories to look back and treasure.

You can also do charity work or donate to a cause you care about. It is a great way to make a difference and feel good about yourself. You can also try doing something new to keep your mind active and engaged, such as reading a book, taking a class or watching a documentary.

Lesson 2: Be prepared for anything.

If you have a loved one with a chronic illness, it’s crucial to have an emergency plan in place. This plan could include having a list of contact information for doctors and hospitals and a list of medications and medical supplies. The sooner you make preparations, the better. Being prepared for any situation is vital because it can save lives.

Here are some additional tips for being prepared for anything:

Have an emergency fund. Knowing how you would pay for unexpected expenses, such as medical bills, health consultations and laboratories, is extremely important. Setting up a buffer for emergencies can help you deal with unforeseen costs without going into debt or risking your loved one’s care.

Getting hospitalized is no joke, especially when you are confined to a private hospital. Bills easily pile up in the blink of an eye. When the situation worsens, making decisions will be harder since you have to consider the fees in case your patient needs to be transferred to the ICU or require immediate surgery.

We were still at the private hospital when the doctor told us that my dad needs to be transferred to the ICU as soon as possible and that he needs to undergo emergency dialysis.

At that time, our medical bills have reached a whopping P100K having stayed for 7 days, and the cost per day at the ICU ranges between P10,000 to P15,000 excluding medications. Add to that the charges for the IJ catheter insertion to be done at the operating room, the surgeon’s fee and also the charge for every dialysis session. The financial burden can definitely affect your ability to make decisions.

Stay informed. It is essential to stay knowledgeable about your loved one’s condition and any changes that may occur. This includes knowing their medications, dosages, and any potential side effects. You should also be aware of any new developments in their condition or treatment options.

Have a communication plan. Ensure you know how to contact your loved one’s doctors, hospitals, and other important people in an emergency.

Have a first-aid kit and emergency supplies on hand. This kit could include things like bandages, pain relievers, and water. You should also have a plan for getting to a hospital or other medical facility if necessary.

Invest in health insurance. Health insurance can help you pay for medical care, such as doctor’s visits, hospital stays and prescription drugs. However, not all health insurance plans cover the same services, so it is vital to ensure the health plan you choose covers the services your loved one needs.

Lesson 3: Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

I found comfort in the support of my family and friends since they were there for me. I don’t know what I would have done without them. I learned that the love and support from these people can help us get through anything.

Caring for a loved one with a chronic or terminal illness can be challenging, but it is essential to remember that you are not alone. Many resources are available to help you and being prepared can make the experience a little bit easier.

Asking for help means you can lean on friends and family who can provide a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on or offer words of encouragement. Share your feelings and experiences to help ease and alleviate your emotional burdens. Additionally, asking for help also means you can delegate tasks or seek assistance from others who are willing to share the load.

Often, friends and family members may have insights or knowledge that can be beneficial. They might know of healthcare resources, support networks or financial assistance programs that you might not be aware of. When my dad had to undergo emergency dialysis, we had to secure two bags of blood. But thanks to the extensive support shown by my family and friends, we were able to fulfill the requirement within the day.

By reaching out for help, you can tap into a broader pool of knowledge and resources to support your loved one’s care. Many people genuinely want to help; they just need to know how and where they can assist effectively.

Lesson 4: Take care of yourself.

It’s easy to neglect your own needs when you’re going through a difficult time but it’s important to take care of yourself both physically and emotionally. In the midst of this caregiving role, it’s vital to remember the importance of self-care.

Neglecting your own needs, such as adequate sleep, nutrition and exercise, can lead to fatigue and exhaustion, resulting to a compromised immune system. This, in turn, can affect your ability to provide effective care for your loved one.

Make sure to get enough sleep and eat healthy food to nourish your body and boost your immune system.

If you can, take the time to exercise or do some brisk walking while running an errand. Small exercises can serve as a good distraction and relieve yourself from stressful thoughts and anxiety.

Lesson 5: Prayer is a powerful force.

Faith can be a powerful source of strength during difficult times. It is a way of connecting with something bigger than ourselves and can be a source of comfort and strength during difficult times. When we are struggling, it can be easy to feel lost and alone.

When we pray, we are essentially opening ourselves up to the possibility of receiving help from a higher power. There is no one right way to pray, as long as it is something that feels sincere and meaningful to you.

I share these lessons with the hope that they offer solace and guidance to others going through similar challenges. Remember, you are not alone, and there is a community of support ready to help.

Wishing you all the strength, resilience and healing on your own journeys.

May we all find peace and healing in our hearts.

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